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Posted 3 days ago | Reblog | 108880 Notes
jethrocane:

summer-band-dreams:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF
I BOUGHT IT
MONTHS AGO
TRIED IT ONCE
I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE
IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER
IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 
IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY
I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT
AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN
I READ THE DIRECTIONS
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT
I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE
TURNS OUT
YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST
WAIT FOR IT TO DRY
COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)
IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW
AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)
AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS
AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM
IT WAS A MIRACLE 
THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST
IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING
AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME
AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY
THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

IF YOU RUB TOOTHPASTE ON YOUR LIPS IT COMES OFF EASIER

YES THIS IS A GOOD TIP I HAVE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE
GIVE IT A LIL SCRUB WITH THE OL’ PEARLY WHITE RUB A DUB DUB
IT WILL COME OFF
IT WILL DO AS YOU COMMAND
THIS MAKEUP   O B E Y S
IT   S T A Y S

jethrocane:

summer-band-dreams:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF

I BOUGHT IT

MONTHS AGO

TRIED IT ONCE

I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE

IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER

IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 

IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY

I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT

AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

I READ THE DIRECTIONS

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT

I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE

TURNS OUT

YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST

WAIT FOR IT TO DRY

COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)

IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW

AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)

AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS

AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM

IT WAS A MIRACLE 

THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST

IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING

AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME

AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY

THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

IF YOU RUB TOOTHPASTE ON YOUR LIPS IT COMES OFF EASIER

YES THIS IS A GOOD TIP I HAVE HAD THIS EXPERIENCE

GIVE IT A LIL SCRUB WITH THE OL’ PEARLY WHITE RUB A DUB DUB

IT WILL COME OFF

IT WILL DO AS YOU COMMAND

THIS MAKEUP   O B E Y S

IT   S T A Y S

Via    Source     Tags: #lol  
Posted 1 week ago | Reblog | 415 Notes
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Posted 1 week ago | Reblog | 1873 Notes
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Posted 1 week ago | Reblog | 168561 Notes

pierogi-jarskie:

smithsonian:

Protip: This is a really bad question to ask when visiting the National Mall. We have 8 buildings surrounding the Mall, and a total of 19 museums, 9 research centers and the National Zoo. A S.H.I.E.L.D agent should know better! 

(We think she means the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History in this case.)  

I love that this is on the Smithsonian’s tumblr

Via    Source     Tags: #lol   #i think that would be very long winded  
Posted 1 week ago | Reblog | 105995 Notes

If this gets 100,000 notes my older brother will name his kid Hermione 

joyfulserenade:

smurflewis:

You don’t understand;

My brother and his wife are both dentists. They just found out the sex of their baby is a girl.

I’m trying to convince them to name the baby Hermione.

My brother said if I get 100,000 notes he’ll make it her middle name.

Help me have the coolest niece EVER

If this doesn’t happen I will be thoroughly displeased.

Via    Source     Tags: #lol   #please  
Posted 2 weeks ago | Reblog | 406228 Notes

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

reasons to date me

  • no pressure to wear pants in my presence
  • or any clothes at all really
  • but it’s up to you
  • u can be big spoon or little spoon
  • totally your choice
  • i’m always ready to make out
  • aLwaYs
  • also u don’t even have to buy me things just maybe an ice cream cone every once in a while that’s it 
  • i’ll let you lick it though
  • i mean the ice cream cone
  • well not just the ice cream cone
Via    Source     Tags: #lol  
Posted 3 weeks ago | Reblog | 3630 Notes
meganmachine:

I just… HETTIENNE

meganmachine:

I just… HETTIENNE

Via    Source     Tags: #omg   #lol   #hettiene park  
Posted 3 weeks ago | Reblog | 1688 Notes

best of Rumplestiltskin - 2.19 Lacey

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Posted 3 weeks ago | Reblog | 168561 Notes
Via    Source     Tags: #cap2   #lol  
Posted 1 month ago | Reblog | 1539 Notes

Like mother, like daughter

Via    Source     Tags: #ouat spoilers   #lol